By Alexis
What exactly does this mean? We hear this all the time, surrender it all to God. Well, I’ll tell you what the opposite is...it’s control.
I don’t think I quite realized how much I have been controlling my life. It is something that has reaped havoc since as long as I can remember. The Lord has been so kind and gentle with me. His patience is unending. He has allowed sin to continually come up that has shown how much I have my hands still on the reigns. Oh, how much I want Him to be in control, to be fully surrendered to my one true King, who will never forsake me, never lead me astray. Me, however, I will lead myself astray.
How has surrender manifested in my life? Looking back, it’s incredibly breathtaking to see how much He has taken control. Sometimes against my own will (praise God!) I fought to hold on to the control of certain aspects. For example, when Seth and I first got married I was so wanting to control everything he looked at, what he thought. See...I had been in a very toxic long-term relationship that had planted many roots of distrust, especially in God. If I could help Seth, then I could also keep myself from getting hurt. How foolish that was!
Oh man, what a hard season, but amazing season of learning and growing closer to the Lord. The Lord brought to surface an area of distrust I had in Him and allowed me to tarry in it. He allowed me to try to keep my control and I fell face first onto the ground. Through it all, I did end up finally surrendering to Him my husband, the fears.
I am not his mother, I will never be. I am here to be a support, to pray for him in all he needs. And how selfish it is to want to keep myself from getting hurt.
The most beautiful thing you could do is pray for whomever and whatever this situation is. Finding trust in God allowed me to ultimately find trust in my husband, our marriage. I surrendered everything to the situation to him.
I have, however, found myself once again in another situation, right now. I am learning to let go. It is a slow process...very slow this time. I know the Lord is long-suffering and patiently waiting for me to finally let go.
Listen, I say all that to say....I understand, I get it. It’s one of the most difficult things, especially if you’ve been so hurt. Know that God is so much bigger, so much more holy, so intricately involved in everything, that He is always faithful and kind and gentle. I’m learning more and more fear is the reason for control. Oh, children of God, brother and sisters, God is love, his love is perfect, and perfect love cast out all fears. Study his love, study the character of God. As you grow in wisdom and knowledge, your heart will open, and surrender will be easier and easier. You will have a firmer, more deeply rooted foundation in who God is that will allow you to trust Him more because you know Him. Just like you know your spouse, your child, your best friend...when you take the time to get to know them you predict what they do, what they say, how they act. It’s the same way with the Lord.
Lean onto Him, really press into who He is wholeheartedly and believe me...surrender will come. It won’t be easy every time, but we have trust God. Especially in times as these. Brothers and sisters, don’t lose hope or get discouraged, every walk will look different and the Lord deals with each of us in different ways. Pray fervently for the Lord to give you surrender. It will come. Give yourself grace and never let your prayers cease.
Alexis is a wife and mother of two, living in Youngsville, North Carolina. This article was originally published May 13, 2020 on Eternally Minded, and republished here by permission.
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