by Darlene N. Böcek
These are chaotic times. As I write this, California and Washington are on fire, Black Lives Matter is fighting for their voice to be heard about injustice, everyone in the world has to wear a face mask, thousands of people are dying of cancer, and the United States is warring over who will be the next president. Just now, someone's beloved mother died in a car wreck. Just now, a murder devastated a family and community. Conflict comes in many forms, but these days we seem to have more than our historical share of it. Maybe.
God’s purpose for “Chaos,” God’s purpose for COVID-19 and cancer and raging mobs and crooked cops—is the glory of God.
Why do we have conflict? The Bible sets it out this way: "What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight" (James 4:1-2)
Ultimately, pain is a sign pointing to the presence of sin, signaling corruption, and highlighting the brokenness of this world. Pain points to the sinner’s need for Christ and facilitates God’s plan for the world.
PROVING
Difficulties shape us for God’s glory in three ways. First, they prove the content of our heart—showing who we love most. We may say we love Christ, but conflict proves who we really love.
God intends for everything we face to result in our treasuring, loving, and knowing Christ. Conflict forces a choice to that end. The natural, fleshly, unChristian response to conflict is base instinct: self-preservation. Survival of the fittest—retaliation and attack.
Christ has shown what he expects of his people. If we love him, we will be a certain way. But he doesn’t only show the standard, he provides the power to obey through the Holy Spirit’s presence.
Proof of the Spirit’s work in our life is called the Fruit of the Spirit. Obedience is that fruit. “Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, and self-control” (Gal 5:22-23). Each of these is fostered in the heat of passion, in the pangs of this suffering world. Conflict is here to prove our faith, like fire that purifies gold. Our actions in tension prove who we belong to, and our compassion in a distress-filled world fulfills God’s purpose for us to shine His light into darkness.
PURIFYING
Painful interactions also purify us. Consider the passion of Christ: “Yet it was the will of the LORD to crush him; he has put him to grief; when his soul makes an offering for guilt…. Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied; by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant, make many to be accounted righteous, and he shall bear their iniquities” (Isaiah 53:10-11).
Just as it was the will of the LORD for Christ to face the cross, it is God’s will for us to face trials and tribulations in this world (John 16:33). Both are for the same end: the glory of God through the salvation of a holy people—in other words, our redemption, justification, and sanctification.
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus" (Philippians 2:3-5).
For Christians, conflict separates people of light from people of darkness. How will we respond? Will we do as the world does and give in to the flesh? Or will we “put to death” such responses by tossing aside worldly-wisdom, using that very conflict to trust Christ more? If we find our worldly reactions win, we must do some soul-searching. Are we expecting this Christian life to be something God did not promise it would be? Are we treasuring our sinful desires more than treasuring Christ? This crucible purifies our faith.
INSTRUCTIVE
Not only does conflict prove us and purify us, it also instructs us. We see the hurts and needs of others through those moments of tension. As difficult as it can be, conflict teaches us how to love our neighbor more. At the cost of our pride and self-interest, in a fight we must show love at their weakest point. When we learn their triggers, we use that knowledge not for attack but as points of compassion, doing good to those who persecute us and mistreat us, bearing one another's burdens and so fulfilling the law of Christ (Matthew 5:44, Galatians 6:2).
Our response to conflict instructs our opponents, as well. Firstly, it enlightens our opponent. When we choose to "turn the other cheek" in a fight, we are throwing the world's method on its head. Darkness does not win. On a deep spiritual level, we are instructing our opponent and any observer, declaring the power of Christ for salvation, peace, and strength in this dark, broken world.
Secondly, our response to conflict demonstrates the forgiving heart of God to an unsaved, “harassed and helpless” humanity (Matthew 9:36). It is probably the hardest thing in the world, but choosing to submit and live meekly in the midst of conflict proclaims the forgiving, gracious, compassionate heart of Christ.
At the Resurrection, the books will be opened. All we lived through will be displayed for the world to take note. What will be written about you in your face-off with enemies?
THE GOOD NEWS
God will use our conflict for good, no matter what (Rom 8:28-39). Christ knows his own. When we blow it under pressure, we have a Savior interceding for us. Consequently, interpersonal struggles result in one of two things: We may triumph by the strength of God's sanctifying Spirit, who "enables us more and more to die unto sin and live unto righteousness" (1) or we express our utter dependence on the blood of Christ, remembering "he pardoneth all our sins, and accepteth us as righteous in his sight, only for the righteousness of Christ imputed to us, and received by faith alone.” (2)
When we face fights, arguments, and disagreements, the promises of God should empower us to set aside our "rights" in this temporary, broken world. Why fight over things that are of temporary significance? Nothing we gain is worth it. As Eusebius said:
“He need not fear confiscation, who has nothing to lose; nor banishment, to whom heaven is his country; nor torments, when his body can be destroyed at one blow; nor death, which is the only way to set him at liberty from sin and sorrow.”
Remember Christ's response to antagonism: "When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly" (1 Peter 2:23). Let us, therefore, make every effort to endure hardship. For this fulfills God’s great purpose of glorifying and proclaiming our precious Lord Jesus Christ to a lost and hurting world.
1 Westminster Shorter Catechism #35
2 Westminster Shorter Catechism #33
Darlene N. Böcek is the author of Trunk of Scrolls, and the upcoming Christian Sci-Fi Pogland trilogy. Her writing has been featured in Modern Reformation Magazine and translated into many languages. She is a pastor’s wife in Izmir, Turkey. You can follow her on Facebook or Instagram, or see other Bible studies and writings on http://darlenenbocek.com
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